Day 22: Your nicknames & why you have them.

I never had a nickname,.... I always thought a nickname was something short of your name or a little pet family name that your family gives you to taught you for the rest of your life.... I don't know but thankfully I don't have one... sorry

I Quit!!!!

Sometimes it is good to remind yourself that you just have to let somethings go and just do you.....

I Quit!!!!!

1. Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness! Respect their position and keep it moving!

2. Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them! And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!

3. Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don't want to travel with you. Either they believe in you and value you...or they don't!

4. Quit complaining about things you can't and won't change!

5. Quit gossiping about other people! Minding our own business should be a full time job!

6. Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren't going to matter three weeks from now! Talk solutions...and then implement them!

7. Quit eating things you know are not good for you! If you can't quit...eat smaller portions!

8. Quit buying things when we know we can't afford them! If you don't have self control, then quit going to the stores! Quit charging things, especially when you don't NEED them!

9. Quit staying in unhealthy relationships! It is not okay for people to verbally or physically abuse you! So quit lying to yourself! It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children! Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!

10. Quit letting family members rope you into the drama! -Start telling them you don't want to hear it! Quit spreading the drama! Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Go back to #5 minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!

11. Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN'T WORK! Quit cussing people out when you know that they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!

12. Quit the job you hate! Start pursuing your passion. Find the job that fuels your passion BEFORE you quit!

13. Quit volunteering for things that you aren't getting any personal fulfillment from anymore! Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!

14. Quit listening to the naysayers! Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the doom and gloom of it all!

15. Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can't do what you want to do!

16. Quit waiting on others to give you the answers...and start finding the answers for yourself! If what you are doing isn't working for you...then quit it!

17. Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality! - Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE! CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past...you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT ....... and START DOING something to create the experience you want!

Day 21: Short goals you wish to fulfill by the end of the month.

Well the month is almost over and I don't really have anything plan for this month for I have been getting the kiddos ready for back to school and trying hard to adjust to my new work schedule (I am not a early bird and me an early mornings are not friends, but I digress).... But next month I am working on getting into school. A goal that I have working on for awhile now but always seems to run across more challenges that I can handle.... but I am not giving up and hopefully I get the ball rolling and make it happen for the fall. So my goal and focus for next month is to registar and start school....

Day 20: A letter to your parents.

TODAY I WILL

TODAY I WILL

Today I will start my day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.

Today I will accept my Change and challenge myself to be a better ME!

Today I will broaden my mind so that I can accept all things good and bad and make the best of everything.

Today I will clear my mind and heart of negativity.

Today I will not whine and whimper over things I cannot control.

Today I will push beyond all my limits and remind myself that things in life will not come easy and everyone is not willing to give and accept MY change. 
Today I will looked at myself in the mirror and see the face and body of what God made. I am not perfect, nor do I try to be, but I am a work in progress.Today I will stop saying that I CAN’T and focus on what I CAN.

Today I will work on ME!

Day 19: A habit you wish you didn’t have

I don't know if this qualifies as a habit, but I hate the fact that I don't smile enough.... I don't intentionally try to keep a frown on my face or have a unpleasant look, but somehow I do and to some I come off mean or I look mean or unapproachable, and I'm really not, I'm really a nice person, at times I will be in deep thought which leads into a glimpse day dream and I get lost in a trance, which can cause a strain look sometimes.....I guess (LOL) but I try to keep in mind to put a smile on my face and not look so off....LOL.... I try :) but I guess it don't work all the time.... but I will keep working on it ***SMILES INSERT HERE***

Found this quote***** Today continue to SMILE~ it increases your face value.... and always Pray ~ it increases your FAITH value....

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/2833347/doingme?claim=bdacd4zawvb">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Day 18: A letter to someone you miss

I miss my brother, he was killed in 07 but we didn't find out til last year,..... this is a  very devastating feeling.

Dear Dwight,
Dwight you are my brother, my mom and dad only son, you should have saw the pain on their face when they heard the news it was devastating, I could barely catch my breath I was in shock! Words cannot describe the pain we feel right now. I know that this was not the pain and hurt you meant to cause us. I know that if you could you would walk through the doorway one more time and tell us how much you care and say goodbye and how sorry you are and that you tried to get better and do right. I know you been trying to reach out to us and tell us about your passing, I just hate it took this long, I hate that you made us wait. We waited three years to hear from you, see you , to talk to you, three years passed not knowing where you where, praying for a sign that you was ok and you was doing fine…WHY, WHY???, WHY didn‘t you answer me, you heard your little sister calling you, crying and reaching for you and you didn’t say anything….Maybe it wasn’t time for us to know, because you knew how much it would hurt us. You was waiting for the right time to come to us. I hate that I didn’t suspect anything sooner, because it was not like you to not call or saying anything. I have so many questions of WHYS? But I know that questioning God about the unknown will not provide any answers right now. I know that God don’t make any mistakes and that he was calling his child home. It was unfortunate of how your death occurred, no matter what, your my brother and you have done many things in the past and you did some wrong, but you didn’t deserve a death like that. You didn’t deserve that kind of pain and torture. God I know you shouldn’t harvest hate in your heart, but I HATE the guys who took you from us. . I know that in time the pain and hurt will begin to fade and it will get easier and one day everything will all fall back into place. It might not be today, tomorrow or next week or next even next year. With Faith in God I know in due time all things heal and we must keep moving forward. I can still hear you telling me, “Shante always be yourself, never change for nobody, never be afraid,  to be me because at the end of day your only living for yourself, family and GOD and only God can judge you.“ we always had those kinds of talk, you was always upfront with me, and never sugar coated anything, when I needed you, you was there for me, Thank you for that.

Dwight please watch over mom and dad and protect them from the heartache. Tell Mamma Jessie, Aunt Wanda, Kamera, and Grandma Kennard that we love them all and missed them so much. I know that they are happy to see you, to see you safe at last and pain free. Now your soul can rest and be at peace. Your gone but you will never be forgotten…..I will always love you

Love always
Your baby Sis

Day 17: A photo that makes you want to cry.

This is a photo that makes me cry, My sister, me and my brother) Although this is on my wedding day and this was a very happy and special occasion, this is also the last time and the picture that I took with my brother. This is the last time we saw him 3/18/2006 because the next following year he was murdered and we didn't even know about it until 3 years later. We searched High and low looking for him only to find out the devastating news that crushed my heart and soul. Love my brother we didn't have the best brother & sister relationship but he was and always will be my big brother and I loved him dearly and now to know that I will never see him again, or get the hear his crazy stories is very upsetting.

RIP Dwight you will forever be miss...... (tears)

Waiting patiently for my change to come

Waiting patiently for my change to come.....This year is almost over and I must say this has not been one of my greatest... I have experience so many trials  & errors, ups and downs that left me with some crazy emotions with a hint of self doubt. I've experience some tough times, heartache & hardship .....I feel like I have fell into  an unbalance oracle where I am fighting against myself, true love, my future and my marriage..... with all of this going on in my heart and in my mind I still have to take care of my household, raise my kids, be gainfully employed at a place where I feel like my life is fading as I type this.....a supportive wife, friend, sister & daughter..... There are days where I am soo exhausted and tired not from a hard day of work or play, but just mentally tired from over stressing about the How's, When's. Where's, & What's of my day to day life. There are moments when I truly feel like I cannot take another step or  move forward because of the agony that has taken over my mind, heart & body. I am at a place of NOWHERE, I ran from a place where I thought didn't need me to a place that I thought  at the time was best for me and now I am lost in a place where I can't find ME......This is where I am at, but this is not the place I want to be so as I express all my worries and deep emotions I Still and most importantly must remain faithful to God....I must wait patiently for my change to come..... I can not give up on his word......

  

God I pray that you heal my mind, body and soul and give me the strength I need to continue on. I ask that you please order my footsteps down the path you have ordered for me, for without you I am nothing and with you I am everything. God I ask that you speak order into my life so that I may have some directions. I pray for peace, understanding and forgiveness. In these words I pray

Amen

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

Day 16: A photo that makes you smile.

Day 15: What you would do if you were pregnant

Well Hmmmm...... this is a strange question but here I go.... I have been pregnant 4x..... yes I have 4 kids and I did the only thing I could do and that was handle my business and work on becoming the best Mom I can ever be. My oldest is 15 and my youngest is 4 and motherhood is the hardest job ever because it is a nonstop commitment 24/7. Personally I did not enjoy being pregnant.....OMG it was an  horrible experience and yet I had to do it 4 times.....(don't judge me) but dealing with the mood swings and uncontrollable emotions and weight gain, back pain and hot flashes and the nonstop kicking felt like my ribs was about the break in two and need I talk about the constant going to the bathroom just for a few squirts, UGH!!!! horrible, but in all after all of the pushing, screaming and breathing (which really didn't help much) and praying for drugs that you wish you should have ask for at first but you didn't because you didn't want to harm the baby....but once they place that small little person in your arms your heart stops because you can't believe that you created another person that you can't stop kissing and hugging.  ALL of the struggle, pain,crying  and cussing( because you wish your husband understood what you was going thru and could experience all ot this too).... was worth it because I have something worth going thru all that pain for.
But I REFUSE to do it again..... I am done I love my kids but a 5th time I cannot Do.....

I Cannot Do This Alone

O God, early in the morning I cry to you.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you:
I cannot do this alone.
In me there is darkness,
But with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways,
But you know the way for me…
Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before me.
May I praise your Name...To God be the Glory..
Amen
.

Day 14: Something you love about yourself

Something I love about myself.......hmmm I love my smile, when I do it I can light up a room. I love my sense of humor, my craziness, I love to joke  around and have great time. I love my motivation, I love to encourage other people and see people happy. I love that I can rely and count on me to do and be me. I might not mean nothing to you but to me I am more than a lot.

Keeping my Faith

These past few days I have not been feeling like myself....I have been very distant and just exhausted lately..I have a lot going on in my life right now and I have begun to drag and just feel helpless. Feeling helpless is the worst feeling in the world (IMO) I hate the feeling of not being able to control my situation or outcomes, it drives me nuts....but I can not give up on me and my Faith in God, that is why God created FAITH, you have to faith in everything you do, where you go and in what you say and how you feel... Even though I am going thru this rough patch in my life right now and I can barely see the bright light at the end of the tunnel, I know I have to keep my faith that God first and that He is going to see me thru this and I am going to be victorious in my outcome. I will continue to pray for strength to carry on and for God to give me a clear mind and understanding that I will be  victorious in my outcome. I will continue to pray for strength to carry on and for God to give me a clear mind and understanding that I will be ok and that he will not put more on me than I can bare.
I wanna be Bless:

A PRAYER FOR COURAGE

Dear Father,
I pray for courage as I begin this day, for I understand there is work to be done, burdens to be carried, feelings to be shared and joys to be celebrated.
Grant me the courage to be silent that I may hear Thy voice; to persevere, that I may share Thy victory; and to remember, lest I forget the way by which Thou has led me.
And when this day is done, O Lord, may I have the courage to see Thy guiding hand in the friendships that have been made, in the hurts that have been healed, and in the strength that has been given.
Amen.

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: Wait, I say, on the Lord.

Day 12: Your favorite female group

My favorite female group.....I love love love En Vogue....(singing Hold on to your love), Love TLC yes I tried to learn ALL there dance moves and tried to dress like thim....LOL (don't judge me) SWV & Destiny Child.... i really wish they would  get back together because we need more girl power movements & sweet harmony....

I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR!!!

IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY TIME I TRY TO DO SOMETHING POSITIVE; SOMETHING COMES UP TO THROW ME OFF. EVERY TIME I GET MY MIND SET TO MOVE FORWARD IN THE DIRECTION THAT GOD WOULD HAVE ME TO GO, THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE WAITING TO JUST TRIP ME UP… BUT I GOT NEWS FOR YOU SATAN. I AM MORE THAN A CONQUEROR, I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED & I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!! THE DEVIL CAN THROW WHATEVER HE WANTS TO THROW AT ME BUT I’M STILL FIGHTING, I’M STILL IN HIS WORD, I’M STILL PRAYING MORE THAN EVER AND DOING WHAT I HAVE TO DO. NO NEGATIVE THING WILL STAND IN THE BETWEEN ME AND MY DESTINY… I WILL NOT FAIL. I GOT A GOD IN MY CORNER THAT IS GREATER THAN ANY NEGATIVE THING THAT CAN BE THROWN AGAINST ME. SO HIT ME WITH YOUR HARDEST PUNCH, GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT, I MAY STUMBLE A LITTLE BIT, I MAY EVEN FALL…. BUT I WILL NOT FAIL!! I WILL COME OUT ON TOP NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS OR HOW LONG IT TAKES. I’M GONNA PRESS MY WAY THROUGH.
FOR I AM MORT THAN A CONQUEROR!!!!!

Day 11: A letter to one of your exes

A letter to my ex......

Thank you soooo much for fucking up and  letting me go. You help me to realize that I am so much more and deserve so much better than what you had and did offer. I am in a better place in my life and is moving forward because it is obvious you was the best thing I NEVER had!!!!!!

Goodbye!

Day 10: Your best friend

My best friend is Senta Cooper, we have been best friends since we was little girls, like 8 years old, we got into a lot of shit back in the day, We have been firend a very long time and even though she moved to Dallas and we don't hang and talk as much, I know I can still call on her to be there for me and support me in all I do, we will always have a bond that can never be broken

Day 9: Your definition of love

To me Love is an emotion that only works unless you work it or put some type of action behind....We all can speak of love but love has to be shown with actions and express thur words. Love can build you up and bring you down, Make you strong or feel weak..... Love can be given and taken away, Love is in ALL of us, we ALL process some type of love within ourselves

Day 8: Something you hate about yourself

There are a few things I hate about myself........ Really hate is such a harsh word so I would say I really dislike very very badly about myself is that I am procrastinator..... there I said it out loud, I have very good intentions on a lot of things but I sike myself  because of fear.....also I give in too easliy instead of holding my ground on things that matter most to me because I want to please everyone else first and myself last...... WELL ALL of THAT is going to change because I am working towards doing better on these things for MYSELF!!!!

Day 7: Your crush

My crush has and will always be Tyrese Gibson....... whew!!!! That is a very very sexy man.....