Last night my heart was sliced in half with a knife, I've heard this statement many times in my life "I hate you", but when it comes out of your child's mouth and in your face it felt like I just been shot. I always heard that kids and drunks always tell the truth......As parents we do the best we can at all times..... at least I try to... I am not perfect and I make mistakes but I try real hard to show and provide my kids with love, support and compassion. Right now times is hard and we have cut back tremendously, and even though I have expressed this to my children it is still sometimes hard for some kids the understand. But by my son telling me those painful words it made me understand that my kids are suffering just as much as we are suffering and he is having a hard time dealing with the transition of change and for me I am only trying to cover up my pain and adjust to the change. I am at a point where I am trying to deal with all sorts of emotions that I just can't seem to line up in place and I find myself all over the place emotionally so I can only imagine that my kids are picking on this and is acting out as such because they have misplace feelings also.
It's not what you do in a difficlut situation, It's how you handle it, so how will I handle this outburst..... I don't know yet becuase right now he is mad and I am hurt and I think we both need a small time out to really think and sort things out before addressing the issue. But I know I will assure him that no matter what or how he feels I will always Love him and will take care of him and support him no matter because he's my child and he came from me as a gift from God.
Almighty God, who gives strength to the weak and upholds those who might fall, give me courage to do what is right, for those that trust in you have no need to fear.
Make be brave to face any danger which may now threaten me.
Give me the help that you have promised to those who ask it, that I may overcome my fears and go bravely forward.
Fill me with courage, that nothing which is my duty to do, may be too hard for me. Let me put my trust in your power and goodness.
Thank you my Lord.
Amen