Dear Self,

Dear Self, my inner peace is at war but I need you to stand strong and don't give up.

Bare with me please, I'm dealing with so much at one time I can't seem to handle it all, but I know I am losing, I've lost my focus, my hope, and my way.... I'm trying to cover it up thinking it will all just pass and things will go back to the way they were, unfortunately that's not true and it's not that simple. I'm not doing the right things for myself and for my family I'm numbing myself with things that is no good, I'm trying to cover up my pain but instead I'm causing more damage & hurt... I don't know where to start or how to begin, I'm praying but I'm still at a lost, I'm try to be positive but negativity keeps dragging me down, I take two steps forward and get knocked back ten. I open my heart to others and I get stabbed or betrayed. I stand in silence they say I'm acting funny, I speak my mind I'm doing too much. We all fall off sometimes that's life, life will take through courses you never even signed up for. Unfortunately you can't study for the test you'll have to rely on faith and prayer. Every day I tell myself Lord let your will be done and whatever it is please give me the condition to deal with it.....

Deep Inside

I am a poet writing of my pain.
I am a person living a life of shame.
I am your daughter hiding my depression.
I am your sister making a good impression.
I am your friend acting like Im fine.
I am a wisher wishing this life werent mine.
I am a girl who thinks of suicide.
I am a teenager pushing her tears aside.
I am a student who doesnt have a clue.
I am the girl sittin next to you.
I am the one asking you to care.
I am your best friend hoping youll be there.

Unknown 

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Jenita Constantine

A.S.A.P

A.S.A.P

means

"Always Say A Prayer"

God, our Fater, if is is your will,

 walk through my house and take away

all my worries and illnesses and please watch

over and heal my family in

Jesus name, Amen

Make Me Over Again

This is what I am asking for in my life to Make Me Over Again...., I have fallen so far and low that I don't even recoized the person I have become nor do I remember the person I was before. The person I see in the mirror is lost, confused and broken. I pray that one day I can mend the broken patched that has been edited out in my life.......

You know my other side. I can no longer hide. Let you down so many
times. Sin freshly crucifies. Thought that I had a plan. I had it all
figured out. But, the more that you tried to be by my side, the more
I pushed you out.

Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

Today is my 34th birthday and I must say at first I was really into my feelings and felt somewhat weird out about turning 34.....yeah I know it's sad because before this day came I was down because I was not where I wanted to be in life and I was hoping that I would have made a lot of changes, so I was not prepared to rejoice on this day, but when I woke up this morning with a smile on my face I realize I am truly thankful and bless to see another year and it hit me that it is not my age that is getting higher it's my growth that is becoming wiser and stronger. I now look back on my life and can say that I have overcome many many obstacles some that I have defeated victorious and few that I have bowed out gracefully. I've experienced plenty of joyous moments and heartfelt occasions. I've cried thousands of tears and laughed a million times. When I think of all the good I've had and have in my life I truly cannot complain. Yes I have some short comings and I have not reach my full potential, but on this day I God has allowed me to breath, see, smile, touch, feel all of my senses are alive and well and moving..... My life is not over because I am older my life is starting over again to experience new things a new life another challenge another opportunity to grow stronger, wiser and better.

Happy Birthday to me and may God continue to bless me with many many more!!!